A second comment. Reading the other comments reminded me of a time when I was maybe 18 and had asked someone out. I really liked her and wanted to take it slow and respectful. I think I asked before kissing the first 10 people I kissed in my life. At least. Anyway, I didn’t push for anything physical on that date. When I asked her out again a week later, she said no. I then heard from her friend that she was telling lots of mutual friends that I wasn’t much of a guy/man because I didn’t even try to get a goodnight kiss. This article is reminding me of my feelings surrounding that and while there was no front end pressure, I was left with a sense of “chaste shaming” (yes, I am coining this term if it doesn’t already exist and will go write about this this evening…so please no one beat me to the punch.) Thanks again for this article!

I’m a father, friend, kind-hearted musician/theologian guy. I love both the written and spoken word. I’m finding my general writer’s voice.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store